Sunday, April 29, 2012

April: Song I've Been Loving - Bright Eyes - "First Day of My Life"

Life can leave you with moments where you felt like you were just slapped in the face, eyes tearing up, knot in your throat. It can leave you feeling empty, feeling like there's no hope left. Life can be an awful thing but also a wonderful miracle. Funny how you can easily replace the word "life" with "love."

I get those two words confused constantly. What's that 4 letter word that ends with an "L" and ends with an "E"? You'll automatically think of the most important thing to you at the moment... well unless it's "lime" then I don't know what's going on there. But for a while what I thought about was "love" and because of that I forgot what "life" meant to me. Feeling relief, not fearing a tear filled fight some time within the day, reading a book without any inevitable anxiety, having a beer with a friend and laughing about nothing that really mattered, knowing you'll be coming home to a quiet room with a warm bed and nothing but the hope of some excellent sleep to bring you to the next day.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Because I was so blinded by love. I loved love because it brought me so high up with happiness where I felt like I was basking in clouds and beautiful sunlight. But then there goes the clouds, they're getting dark and it's starting to rain. What happened to the sunlight? A wise man once said that what comes up must come down. And it did. Over and over again, boy, did I fall. And fell, and fell. I lost my soul for a little, lost who I was. Lost faith in myself and my future and if it was worth even having one. Thanks love, you really got me there! Jokes on me right?

--------Hah. Before, I get sarcastic and spiteful I'll just say this: you are most important and you will always be most important. If you believe otherwise and you ignore the fact that the bad is really starting to outweigh the good, then you definitely have a problem brewing. It's hard to let go, but a very wise woman once said "if you love something, let it go. If it does not come back, it was never yours to begin with." Well I let go.

Today I bring you a very special song to me by Bright Eyes. It's sweet, slow paced, acoustic.

With love, Alma. Enjoy.


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